The “C-” word … is it really so bad?

Is it bad? No, it’s not. But we often forget it’s an option!

Do you ever have an argument with someone and think,  “I have to prove my point!” Do you ever make plans and get really disappointed when they don’t pan out? Do you ever set expectations for yourself, only to realize days or months later that they were completely unrealistic?

Why not try thinking, “Let’s make this a win-win conversation”? Or instead of getting disappointed, get creative and work with what you have to make new plans. And by all means, forgive yourself for being unrealistic and set out to establish some good … here it comes … compromises!

Yes, that’s the “C-” word that isn’t so ugly when it’s used well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just hangin’ around at Chocola Tree Restaurant in Sedona, AZ

I can’t believe I wrote the above beginning of a post almost two months ago! And I’m finally getting around to finishing. Well, there you have it. My compromise to having a 1-year-old has been not blogging for the last eight months. But I’m OK with that.

There are several definitions for compromise, of course. The one I’ve been thinking of the past few months has been:

“something intermediate between or blending qualities of two different things”

I know “compromise” can have a negative connotation, but in thinking about the choices I’ve made and the choices we’ve made as a family in the last six months, I certainly don’t see our compromises as negative! They’ve certainly made our lives a lot easier and home life more enjoyable. Things like:

  • staying home for dinner or only going out as a family (the afternoon hours were unpredicatable and we sometimes had to leave abruptly if E got too fussy, so hanging out with friends in the evenings was not enjoyable)
  • using disposable diapers (I’m a cloth diaper fan, but E’s little butt was getting rashes constantly from the heat and humidity here. Once the weather cools, I’ll switch back!)
  • starting formula at six months old (a die-hard breastfeeding fan, I finally got converted after months of having a crying baby that breastfed every 1 1/2 – 2 hrs and still wouldn’t sleep! After gulping down his first bottle, we realized it was because he was hungry all the time and my supply just wasn’t cutting it!)
  • cutting down our social activities (do I really have to explain this one? lack of sleep = lack of energy, and baby gets all our energy and time right now, so social activities just aren’t a priority anymore)
  • cutting down on outside commitments (see above … church involvement had to take a back seat to baby. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the foresight to not direct our Christmas Cantata last year with a 4-month-old in tow. That was not a great choice, as I had an emotional breakdown a few months later, while getting ready for the Easter Cantata! Thankfully, I did cut out leading worship, but that wasn’t quite enough. Live and learn!)
  • not blogging or Facebooking (there just aren’t enough hours in the day for housework, taking care of a baby, putting time into a marriage, and keeping up with social media – so, the latter had to go)

With all these compromises, we’ve been able to focus on our family and ourselves. I’ve been enjoying exercising fairly consistently since E was about 2 months old. We’ve still been sailing on many weekends and we’ve also had several visitors – my parents, M’s Mom, and M’s friends from southern California. We visited M’s Mom in Spokane, WA, over Christmas. In May, we went to my 20-year high school reunion in Tennessee (which I planned with a friend). And we took our RV up to Flagstaff, AZ, for the month of July and stayed at a campground. We’ve definitely been keeping busy, so compromises have been a must.

KOA Campground, Flagstaff, AZ

Life has many seasons. Remember when summer seemed endless as a child? Playing in the yard and swimming finally gave way to school starting. Then along came zits, cliques, and lots of homework! Not to mention, dating! Many tears and laughs later, graduation completed one era of schooling. Then, it was off to college, new friends, jobs, cars, and parties – and unchaperoned ones, at that! A few years whiz by and all the sudden you’re staring into the eyes of your spouse. What happened? Young love! Responsibilities call and you’re racing off to your “real” job, paying bills, finding other young couples to hang out with, and creating a home.

KOA Campground, Flagstaff, AZ

Now, we’re in the middle of diapers, bottles and toys. This is our season, and we love it. In fact, we love it so much that we’re gearing up for another baby! Yep, you read that right. We’re pregnant with Baby #2 – due on March 14th, 2013!

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5 Comments

Filed under Life Journal, Living in Mexico

5 responses to “The “C-” word … is it really so bad?

  1. Jennifer

    It was great to hear from you, Clara! Congratulations on baby #2! That’s my sisters birthday.

  2. Love your writing style – you have good things to say, and say it well! 😉

  3. I agree with you – so often compromise is deemed as having to give up something, maybe as a last resort after one has tried to hold on to everything one wants (to do), then only grudgingly giving in/up because there’s just no other way to keep the peace.

    But when I see it as a conscious choice, part of the decision-making to start with – much like you say – it becomes a good part of deciding what is or isn’t doable for me…at this point in time. Setting priorities and then deciding which you want (to do) most and then, peacefully and intently, moving the others to a back burner for when the time suits.

  4. Doug and Annette Coe

    Clara, I’m not sure if I really know how to do this reply thing, but I’ve wanted to be in touch with you guys. Thanks for not forgetting us, here in Camarillo. Your folks were by here not too long ago and said you might be coming through some time this summer. Well, almost too late for that but I hope you will contact us when ever you do come through. And thanks for all the info you share on your site. One suggestion–Use names once in awhile. My memory has gotten so bad that I need verifycation from time to time to be sure I am associating the right memories with the right persons.

    Love ya,

    Doug for Annette

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